There is nothing I can do about my actions in the past. I am well aware of my weakness, and that I am a catastrophic failure of my original purpose and that my attempts to be something better have ended with things worse than they began. All I can do is move forward. If I dwell on my failures, I will turn to a creature of pure darkness and hate. I will be that thing that struck you down in the hotel. So I have to fight that urge, even though it sings to me every second of every day. And the only way I know how to fight it is continuing to try to help when and however I can.
If you have other suggestions or coping mechanisms, I welcome your feedback.
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dancing_serpent
(no subject)
Date: 2013-01-20 08:46 pm (UTC)There is nothing I can do about my actions in the past. I am well aware of my weakness, and that I am a catastrophic failure of my original purpose and that my attempts to be something better have ended with things worse than they began. All I can do is move forward. If I dwell on my failures, I will turn to a creature of pure darkness and hate. I will be that thing that struck you down in the hotel. So I have to fight that urge, even though it sings to me every second of every day. And the only way I know how to fight it is continuing to try to help when and however I can.
If you have other suggestions or coping mechanisms, I welcome your feedback.