Castiel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
trenchcoatedly) wrote2012-01-20 11:42 pm
trenchcoatedly) wrote2012-01-20 11:42 pm
Entry tags:
001 + THY KINGDOM COME [video]
[There is an angel on the deck.]
[Well, not that you can tell. It's a man in a trenchcoat, a cheap suit, and a crooked tie. He's staring up into space, and then he looks over the long deck of the barge. Finally, he turns and faces the camera. He looks like he could use a nap.]
It's smaller than I expected.
It seems like whenever you sign up to do something......you're expected, immediately, to know how to do it, no matter what the scope. Maybe even the larger the scope, the less instruction you're given. Maybe that's intention. You should be expected to know how to live your life, but a simple ritual comes with easy instructions.
[He shakes his head, annoyed with himself.]
I....That was the wrong impression. My name is Castiel. I'm a warden.
[Well, not that you can tell. It's a man in a trenchcoat, a cheap suit, and a crooked tie. He's staring up into space, and then he looks over the long deck of the barge. Finally, he turns and faces the camera. He looks like he could use a nap.]
It's smaller than I expected.
It seems like whenever you sign up to do something......you're expected, immediately, to know how to do it, no matter what the scope. Maybe even the larger the scope, the less instruction you're given. Maybe that's intention. You should be expected to know how to live your life, but a simple ritual comes with easy instructions.
[He shakes his head, annoyed with himself.]
I....That was the wrong impression. My name is Castiel. I'm a warden.
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[He looks away, thoughtful, then back.]
But there are plenty of second chances in His infinite forgiveness.
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I'm not a fan of loopholes, too much crap follows through, sticks you, screws with everything and everyone in your life. [She looks down, then, into her coffee for a long while, thinking of Marcus, of Talia, of the people left behind in her universe.]
Second chances. [Her lips purse slightly as she flicks a glance at him.] Second chances feel selfish, hell, being here as a Warden feels selfish. [She sighs and raises her hands before dropping them to the table.] But I'm not about to argue with God. When you're given a chance, you take it, shut up, and do your best.
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[No, he's a new angel now.]
How do you argue with a Father who you don't know what he wants?
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Maybe you just listen and have faith that God will show you what he wants from you. [She shrugs, just a tiny lift of the shoulder.] Might not be written on a wall somewhere, but if you listen and watch and don't give up...
[She trails off with the tiniest of frowns.]
Maybe arguing isn't the answer.
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[He pauses, and looks away. Then, back.]
I don't mean to bother you with my doubts.
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That's what faith is for, I guess. Just because He doesn't point to where your feet need to go doesn't mean He's not nudging you in the right direction anyway. For me, most of the work, no matter who you are or where you're going, is something that's done by you.
[She shakes her head and sipped at her coffee.]
It's not a bother. I mean, honestly, doubts are part of being alive--and sometimes they're what keeps us alive. If no one had them, we'd probably be boring as hell and never grow into whatever we're meant to be.
[She offers a slight smile.]
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I suppose.
Are you devout?
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Could be that He's stopped talking in ways we can understand. I hope He's still listening somewhere. It's a dark and lonely path through the stars if he's not.
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